In Preakness infield, party is the only event that matters

11:32 PM ET

BALTIMORE — It’s 9am on Saturday and I’m at a bikini contest.

I’m not sure what the ideal time is for a bikini contest, but 9am seems early. Then again, so does pounding Jäger bombs at this hour, but the tank top-wearing bro standing near me is already three shots in before the first high-heeled contest even takes the stage … so who am I to judge?

Editor’s PicksDream for Nyquist, trainer O’Neill, sinks in Pimlico mud

Heavily favored Nyquist and trainer Doug O’Neill entered Saturday’s Preakness with an air of confidence. Instead, their seemingly inevitable victory gave way to a brand-new Triple Crown drought.

“What the f— you looking at?” the bro asks me as I admittedly have been staring at him with all the interest of a televised car chase destined to end poorly. “This is the Jäger stage, ain’t it?”

After narrowly avoiding my first mid-morning fight, I had to admit he had a point. We are standing in front of the “Jägermeister Stage” with two huge banners of the bottle on each side, situated in the infield at Pimlico before the Preakness. There are also three Jägermeister-sponsored betting windows scattered through the infield, as well as a “Jäger Dome,” where they are making every imaginable concoction with every frat boy’s favorite licorice-tasting liquor.

The Jäger Dome provided some cover from the elements, but could not provide refuge from oneself. Arash Markazi/ESPN

The official drink of the Preakness is the Black-Eyed Susan. It is a mixture of vodka, bourbon, orange juice and sours, garnished with an orange slice and cherry. It’s a classy beverage served over crushed ice in souvenir glasses to the men in bright suits and women in big hats sitting in Pimlico’s grandstands. The unofficial drink of the Preakness infield, however, is Jägermeister, and more specifically Jäger bombs (wherein a shot of Jägermeister is dropped into a glass of beer, then chugged), which makes perfect sense for the most salacious party on the sports calendar. When was the last time anything good happened after a round of Jäger bombs? It’s a one-way ticket to blackout city, which was seemingly the destination for many who packed the infield at Pimlico on Saturday.

The Preakness is known as “The Middle Jewel of the Triple Crown” and it certainly plays the part of the middle child looking for a way to get attention while bookended by its two more beloved siblings in horse racing’s Triple Crown calendar. The Kentucky Derby is the crown jewel of the Triple Crown and takes place at legendary Churchill Downs. It’s “The Run for the Roses” and “The Most Exciting Two Minutes in Sports.” The Belmont Stakes is the final and longest leg of the Triple Crown. It’s “The Test of the …

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