Thirteen B1G storylines for Friday the 13th

3:46 PM ET

Friday the 13th is upon us, which got us thinking about ghoulish scenarios for the Big Ten in 2016. Here are 13 — some of legitimate concern and others better suited for the set of a bad movie — to get you through the end of the week:

Wal-Mart discontinues the sale of khakis. Jim Harbaugh goes on a 25-mile radius hunt to find leftover khakis. He eventually finds some but refuses to wear them because he’s afraid they’ll stain. He pledges to wear the pants only during “khaki-worthy” events. In the meantime, he uses jorts as a substitute.

Jim Harbaugh easily is the most polarizing figure in the Big Ten. Rick Osentoski/USA TODAY Sports

Black Saturday strikes again. Remember Sept. 6, 2014, when Notre Dame shut out Michigan, Virginia Tech beat Ohio State, Oregon dumped Michigan State and so on? Well, Week 3 in 2016 makes that sour showing look like a thing of beauty. The league goes 2-9, with Wisconsin and Michigan as the only winners. And this time, there’s no magical run in the Buckeyes to save face for the Big Ten.

Harbaugh deletes Twitter after he’s hacked. The hacker, who’s known only by the alias “8RoseBowls,” uses Harbaugh’s account to tweet out photoshopped pics of him wearing a Buckeyes sweater-vest. Harbaugh deletes his account out of complete disgust.

Nebraska gets shut out at home by Oregon. The Ducks march into Lincoln in Week 3 and hold the Cornhuskers scoreless at Memorial Stadium for the first time since a 12-0 Kansas State win in 1968. Thousands of fans exit the gates in possession of red balloons, triggering traffic accidents and widespread confusion. They should have listened to Randall S. Krause.

Harbaugh gives up on satellite camps for “Judge Judy” marathon. …

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