PL Hangover: Hazard Warning for Rivals as City and Guardiola Count the Costa

If on the morning of Saturday’s El Clasico Pep Guardiola took an idle moment to reminisce over a past life, by the afternoon his current one had ensured there would be no such time for nostalgia trips.

Looking quietly exhausted after a lunchtime encounter between Manchester City and Chelsea that proved anything but bloated, Guardiola was almost obtuse in his assessment of 90 minutes perhaps as engaging as anything he encountered in Spain.

A fixture of little noticeable history delivered an instant classic. Chelsea’s 3-1 victory, an eighth in succession, sees them end the weekend three points clear at the Premier League summit. The odds are shortening on them still being there in May. 

Equal parts scintillating and spiteful, at once ugly and beautiful, it was a game that had so much. As a spectator, you almost craved less—or at least a lie down to make sense of it all.

When such a window for contemplation opens itself to Guardiola, he may, at least privately, reassess a tetchily delivered verdict to the press in which he insisted he had no regrets, per Sky Sports. 

Football’s Edith Piaf is stubborn, but no fool.

When he watches back Sergio Aguero’s assault on David Luiz, he will have regrets.

When he watches back Fernandinho handing over his temper to Cesc Fabregas’ gamesmanship as a drunk does his wallet to a pickpocket, he will have regrets.

When he watches back his own acidulous double-fisted celebration in the direction of referee Anthony Taylor when a decision finally went City’s way, he will have regrets.

When he watches back the gross ill-discipline that will now deprive him of two of his best players for four (Aguero) and three (Fernandinho) matches, respectively, he will have regrets.

When he watches back his false defence failing to keep a clean sheet for the 12th time in 14 Premier League matches, he will have regrets.

When he watches back his side’s hopeless profligacy when at 1-0 up they could have easily extended their lead two or three times over, he will have regrets.

When he watches back and considers how Antonio Conte has created a clear identity for his Chelsea side, when in the same five-month period it would be impossible to say the same of his own work at City, he will have regrets.

Chelsea since moving to 3-4-3Played: 8Won: 8Goals: 22 Conceded: 2 Antonio Conte leaving nothing to Chance #CFC pic.twitter.com/fD6gItuRN0

— Bleacher Report UK (@br_uk) December 3, 2016

On that final point, Guardiola has made 46 changes to his starting XI in 14 league games, the most of any Premier League manager, with a different lineup named in each of City’s 23 games in all competitions.

Conte has made eight changes, with Nemanja Matic’s injury on Saturday forcing him to tweak his starting XI for the first time in seven matches. In the past two seasons, the team that has made the fewest changes has won the league.

Guardiola might even regret post-mortem mutterings in which he said he was proud of his team, while conceding they are “not strong enough” in either box, per the Independent’s James Riach.

It’s a bit like a doctor telling you there’s nothing to worry about with regards your eyesight, other than the fact you can’t see. One can only presume Guardiola is embracing the Tony Hancock mantra: “I turned my deficiencies into a workable thing.”

Maybe Guardiola is just more Frank Sinatra than Piaf. He may have a few (secret) regrets, but there’s no doubt he does it his way. As Noel Gallagher once said of his brother Liam: “He’s like a man with a fork in a world of soup.” 

To Guardiola’s credit, a Jose Mourinho touchline impersonation over the 90 minutes was not extended post-match, when he refused to blame Taylor’s performance for either his side’s defeat or behaviour in the melee that ensued after Aguero’s red card.

Pep Guardiola sarcastically applauds referee Anthony Taylor. Completely undermines him. But it’s fine because he didn’t kick a water bottle.

— Liam Canning (@LiamPaulCanning) December 3, 2016

A pair of first-half penalty appeals—when the ball nudged Gary Cahill’s hand after he had gone to ground, presumably for a nap given his sluggishness throughout, and an N’Golo Kante challenge on Ilkay Gundogan—were mildly contentious. No more than that. Neither would induce the common man to take to the streets with a placard.

When Cesar Azpilicueta’s insipid back pass let in Aguero down the left, though, Luiz subtly yet cynically stepped across the striker to block him off. Taylor looked at his linesman with eyes pleading for a flag that never materialised. He then appeared to reach for his whistle and a card that stayed in his pocket. 

“Anthony Taylor­—he’s froze,” was Gary Neville’s instant verdict on Sky Sports co-commentary duty. It seemed a fair call on the incident that lit the game’s blue …

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