NBA Meme Mania: 2016-17 Season Tipoff Edition

We’ve made it. 

Meaningful NBA action is basically almost back—actual basketball that actually counts toward actual standings for an actual playoff race. Soon gone are the days of looking for solace and relevance in training camps and exhibition contests.

Of course, we must give the preseason a proper send-off before displacing it from our minds. And what better way to do that than by highlighting—and unblushingly hyperbolizing—the biggest takeaways, concerns, storylines and surprises from this year’s fall preview that will leak into the regular season?

    

Dwight Howard Career Update

This Dwight Howard career update has been brought to you by Dwight Howard.

    

MCW > D-Rose(?)

Surely the Chicago Bulls wouldn’t let another player wear No. 1 mere months after Derrick Rose, the jersey’s former owner and once Michael Jordan’s heir apparent, was traded to the New York Knicks. 

Or maybe they would, because they did, per Sean Highkin of the Athletic:

Confirmed with the Bulls that Michael Carter-Williams will wear No. 1

— Sean Highkin (@highkin) October 17, 2016

But then Carter-Williams stepped in and wiped Jerry Reinsdorf’s handprint off Rose’s cheek, per Chuck Garfien of CSN Chicago:

Just spoke with Michael Carter-Williams. He didn’t want to cause a Derrick Rose controversy with #1 jersey. So he’ll wear #7 instead.

— Chuck Garfien (@ChuckGarfien) October 18, 2016

Meanwhile, Toni Kukoc, Ben Gordon, C.J. Watson, Tornike Shengelia and Justin Holiday are probably pretty pissed.

    

Cavs Still Don’t Need to Play the Games

Or when the Toronto Raptors trade for Paul Millsap. Or when—well, you get the point.

No team in the Eastern Conference did enough over the offseason to threaten LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers’ comfy reign. They are, as of now, NBA Finals locks once more.

    

The Hernangomez Takeover 

There has never been a Hernangomez in the NBA. Until now.

When we have two.

Some people thought Juan Hernangomez was a draft-and-stash candidate for the Denver Nuggets, but it turns out he’s factoring into their immediate plans. So you know he’s going to be fun/good.

Willy Hernangomez has already endeared himself to New York Knicks fans. He is pure energy and, at 6’11”, moves like a small forward. Though his role with the team isn’t clearly defined, let’s just say it’s going to be tough for Kyle O’Quinn to get any playing time in the Big Apple.

And if all these miniature rookie-year victories don’t warrant a special NBA2K edition, what does?

    

It’s Raining 3s in Houston…

If the Houston Rockets maintain their current three-point pace during the regular season, they’ll end up launching around 3,140 triples. And that’s assuming their leading snipers—Ryan Anderson, Trevor Ariza, Eric Gordon, James Harden—don’t average more outside looks with additional playing time.

Anyway, the league record for attempted treys in a single campaign, held by the 2014-15 Rockets, is 2,680. So let’s go ahead and brace ourselves for the end of 2016-17, when …

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